Mom's Little Diva

OUCH! Why did nobody ever tell me about electrical outlets??

Why, HELLO there.

Mom deigned to leave me inside while she put up the Christmas decorations on the outside of the house. How rude. I don’t like to let her out of my laser vision, so I didn’t move from my spot by the window alllll day long.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is barking loud for all to hear!

Hey y’all, I’ve barely polished off the Thanksgiving turkey—I’m a carnivore, yo; what of it?—and Mom already has me in this silly get-up.

I’m about sick of all the football games they’ve dragged me to this fall. So far, I’ve spent approximately 17 weekends in Kari’s apartment in Knoxville while Mom and Dad go to the games without me. Whatever, who cares about a stupid game devoted to pigs anyway? I’ll be at the bar.

This is my future mother-in-law, I’m told. She’s pretty.

Hi! Remember me? I’ve gotten so huge, you probably didn’t even recognize me!

(Excuse that stupid bow in my hair. Mom put it there. And as I don’t have fingers, I have no control over what goes on with my ‘do.)

I said GET UP! NOW.

I got to go with Mom to Knoxville (again) and surprise Kari on her 21st birthday! This was her the morning after. She told me to pipe down, that her head was pounding. I don’t get it. Did someone hit her over the head with a pound of bricks? Why is she so cranky? It’s a new day, Kari!